Guess what, my last ultra long haul trip as a passenger was in March. I am starting a 10 days trip in a few hours to Japan and New Zealand. Not long ago, this kind of trip would put me a thrilling mode even days before departure and would motivate me to work on all planning. However, I am not really moved to do anything for this trip. I packed my bags at last minute. Also, pressure from work and age makes me feel like to die of sitting in a small seat for 15 hours. My mood is like going to work even I am officially on leave. Although the good things are ahead, I still need to explore with my strength since I the goods are never delivered themselves to me. Instead, I need to struggle and fight for them.
I missed and slipped many opportunities from many hands in the past on both career and love: am I always too innocent or non ambitious? Am I too subject, self-centered or naive? Am I contented too easily or resist to jump out of the comfort zone? Am I too straight forward or not respectful to the others?
I am gonna face and fix my weakness. Let me get rid of the fear and think in these 15 hours.
My dear friend, I really overestimated my understanding on you. While I was overconfidently discussing you, I simply ignored your feelings. I admitted I was losing patience and getting anger as we were texting on whatsapp. Both my wordings and contents didn't respond to your thinking appropriately as well as didn't digest well on what you said.
I apologize on all the discomfort, frustrations and confusions arising from what I said. I am sorry. Perhaps, this "sorry" won't make up anything. But I sincerely hope you understand I always cherish you as my friend and appreciate you to listen to my stories. Since our point of views towards a matter is diverging into extremes, I promise you here NOT to have any further responses and comment on the same matter.
My fitness and diet plans have been going for a month. Basically, I am doing cardio everyday except the days I am out of town. There were days I almost gave up going to the gym. However, my determination defeated the laziness!! I remember I saw a guy was on the running machine without one hand. His mind is absolutely stronger than us and reminding me not to give up easily.
I didn't establish any goals for my plan. Just want to develop a habit to work out regularly and to reduce extra nutrition. I also adjust my diet to complement the fitness plan. Having oatmeal, cereal and milk throughout the day as well as avoiding sweets. You know, I haven't had ice cream for a month. I may have dessert not more than twice a week.
Never weight myself before and after because I don't want to pressure myself. I am continuing to motivate myself from the loosen uniform and Alex's "humiliation". I am committed to turn impossible to possible now! But, safety is always my priority which I won't be too aggressive.
Really hate people not showing up for any forms of appointment without prior notice. I was waiting for about 10 minutes until I got a feeling he was not coming. I messaged him and the answer was "I forgot"! Wtf!!! Too bad, I won't promise any future meeting with him even he is one of my company's premium customers. I chose to have Vietnamese food instead of the originally planned Cantonese yum cha. A bit strange as I was starving but not having much appetite when the food came.
The 12 years relationship between Alex and his parter is really adorable.
There is nothing extravagant for the anniversary: playing tennis, walking in the park near to home, scanning the old pictures to computer, getting home early for dinner and preparing a cake. It was not a fancy celebration but happiness of simplicity is sweet and tasteful.
I should feel happy for them but my heart turned sour as I am reading his article. He interlocks today's happiness with the uncertainties and stress, coming from his health and job, that he is facing these days. All happened in the past there months created a wave, which weights thousands tons, crushing this relationship directly. Perhaps, 12 years were too long. Although both are still keeping the promises made at the beginning, the colors of the love and feelings are likely fading. They are kind of treating each other as treating a family member.
My tears are dropping soon. Have to finish this asap
We might feel the happiness from a plain relationship better without an exciting life, temptations and any smartphone's apps.
We were like falling into a deep gorge after we had made a decision.
Adding what he has been writing to my personal experience, there are questions repeatedly flashing across my mind: The bad guys are appreciated and forgiven as they are doing right things while the good guys are sent to hell even they have only made one mistake. What is the logic? While everyone is telling him to get the past memories go, I am recalling my times with KL. Did I let him go? Has been almost two years already, when I could complete step out of this?
There have been too many thinking recently. Is it time to return myself to the word "simplicity"? lol
Responding to Alex's article of making compromises in a relationship, I agree there should not be only one way contribution. Nonstop mutual interactions, in terms of mental exchanges and living styles, breed and refresh a long lasting relationship. Of course, we can't expect a "fair trade" between the two. There is no such thing as whose love is worth more than the other party's as there is no measuring indicator and standard for love.
Brother and I talked a lot few days ago when we were at work. I call him brother not because he is neither a lot older nor at higher position than me. But, I adore his characters and sense of responsibility to family.
Brother engaged himself in both full time job and a physical demanding part time job. He works hard to give his family a better life. Therefore, I won't say much if he is not doing well on his tasks because I know his living is tough. If I were him, I would believe I can't handle two jobs.
While we were having a coffee break, he mentioned his family life. I was surprised he is 100% loyal to his wife although he always teases and seems flirty other girls in workplace. He said since his wife carried and gave birth in his stake, there is no reason to betray and leave his wife. He occasionally complaint his wife of being bossy. I told him many wives tend to be less secured after giving birth. Of course, I trust brother had never done any betrayal act behind his wife.
Then, brother shared with me to sacrifice is one if the core values in a married relationship.
The "sacrifice" not necessarily to give ones life to his/her other half. It is more like the extend one can give up his hobbies and personal habits because of living with his loved ones. For instance, he quitted partying and driving out with his gangs after having kids. Also, he had been trying to restraint himself from conflicting with the others because he had to maintain his wife's interpersonal relationship in her work place
If you have read my previous articles, you would know how shitty my ex KL is. How does he contribute to his family? Never heard of anything thrilling in his family life. Also, he is not going to relocate to HK while his wife refuses to settle down in Canada. I wonder how his family survive with his current salary without a part time job. According to insider information, the wife's family is wealth enough to afford her to take unpaid leave all the time. Is KL spending his own family's wealth or planning to decay his wife's family wealth? How could he sneak out for bars and drinks while his wife and son (below one year old) were sleeping? Is family life like a job to him that he needs to sign in and out? KL, are you still a man? Where are your integrity and responsibilities gone? You are such a bisexual slut, have you ever thought? I made a right decision to break up. Please continue your fun with that eunuch!
Maybe his wife is enjoying hyper coming from these bitterness. But, their kid is innocent. I can't imagine how a kid grows up under such a family which is only linked up by long distance phone call.
Gonna take a break from gym today. Without a good sleep last night, I was waiting for a bus under 10c for over 15 minutes. Guess I have caught a cold. I feel my forehead is hotter than normal. Perhaps, I should see my dearest spinning and elliptical machines tomorrow. A good night before sunset
I expected today is my last autumn leaves viewing in Canada for this year because the weather cools down a lot since beginning of October. As weather is gorgeous in my day off today, I went to the Center Island by ferry for a walk. The breeze from the lake made the trails around the island comfortable for anyone to walk.
Most houses on the island are quite "vintage" in terms of their designs and lacking of maintenance. While I was pretending to knock on an old house which I didn't think it is occupied, I saw someone was walking in the house through the windows!! I was calm enough to finish two photo shots even I was a bit shocked. Then, I continued photo taking under the colorful leaves settings until I saw a black rope like object was moving around in front of me. It was a snake!! Oh my!! No joke, this is my first time to see an alive snake outside of zoo or snake farm. Well, I managed to take pictures of it even though snakes are always scary to me. After the shots, an old later walked by and I warned her to be careful of the snake. She smiled and told me that the snakes there are never harmful. She also asked me not to worry. I was thinking luckily I didn't scream loudly. Otherwise, I would lose all my dignity and grace!!!
While I was focusing on a picturing a house, a black cat came out from the house across. He looks so devil and unfriendly!! Of course, I would have to capture his "impolite" face by holding up a camera and taking him. We stared at each other for a few minutes until I had to leave. He won!!
On the way back, I read the ferry schedule wrong. As a result, I had to sit at the beach next to the pier for almost an hour. Watching the small jets landings, the swans and ducks playing in water were relaxing enough for me to erase all the negative thoughts built up couple of days ago. If I was having a novel on hand, I would probably be staying there until sunset.
(CNN) -- They were ready to land in Australia, at
the end of a 14-hour international flight, when the 270 passengers of an
Air Canada flight were suddenly thrown into a high-seas
search-and-rescue operation.
Flight AC033 diverted
after pilot Andrew Robertson got a call from the Australian Maritime
Safety Authority on Tuesday to help search for a yachtsman who had
sailed from Sydney two weeks earlier.
"If we have the fuel,
could we investigate an emergency beacon that had just gone off," came
the question from maritime officials, Robertson told CNN Canadian
affiliate CBC News.
Down below, Glenn Ey of
Queensland, Australia, was being tossed about in his crippled 36-foot
yacht -- out of fuel and with a broken mast after a storm.
"I thought I had a very
good chance of getting back to Sydney without assistance," Ey said after
nine days adrift. "I couldn't see any evidence of Sydney, and I had no
idea of my exact position, and it was at that point I set off the
emergency position indicator radio beacon."
The search began as the
Boeing 777, on its way from Vancouver, dropped from 37,000 feet to 4,000
feet. Robertson asked the passengers and crew to train their eyes on
the choppy waters below.
"I think everyone's heart
started beating a little bit faster," said Jill Barber, a Canadian
singer, who was making the trip to Sydney for a concert. "They said ...
we'd really appreciate it if everyone could look out their windows, and
if anyone has any binoculars that could help us identify this yacht,
that would be really helpful."
It didn't take too long to find Ey as passengers and crew scanned the waters below.
"We're doing this big
sweeping right turn and almost immediately they said, 'Oh, we see
something,' " Robertson said. "We were totally ecstatic."
Total from time from activation of the emergency beacon until he was found by the Air Canada flight: about 25 minutes.
"You know, we cheered and we applauded and I think we all kind of felt a sense of pride," Barber said.
A merchant vessel helped
the yacht until the New South Wales water police arrived from Sydney
late Wednesday, about 270 nautical miles off the coast.
Last friday night was exceptionally special to me because I met Alex after almost a month virtual communications. We decided to meet in Sheung Wan's MTR's Hangseng Bank at 9.30pm. Then, we would talk to the nearby Zoo. Sorry to say, I didn't have much surprise after seeing you. But you should be grateful that I personally think you look better than picture. Haha let's stop the b/s and be back to business. Coming from my heart, our conversations made me be relaxed to listen to you and say whatever I like although I was "group raped" by 30 more people that morning in 5 hours. Although we carried negatives towards RC and KL, the silly words I said made you laugh. Your laughs weights more than another happiness that I have when talking to my friends. I believe, you are on the track of recovery. You are now exploring your new life and shaping your future. From I had heard from you, I realized you are a smart and talented one. Whatever you are choosing to be, you will make it. I will be always around you cheering up for you!!
You know what? All my friend, whom I have talked to about you, warns me to keep a distance from you to avoid any possible contaminations. Please don't keep this in mind. I think they have this kind of misconception because they have never had direct contact with you nor having adequate relevant medical knowledge of the virus. Be assured I am always on your side. I trust what you have told me and what you have done recently in the clubbing scene. We shared a drink in Volume, remember? Attention everyone, fortune teller said I would live long. Don't worry me meeting with Alex again. I learned to handle sense with sensibility after breaking up with KL. I am confident Alex is a good guy who will never ruin others' lives because he is in a difficult situation.
I insisted to write this after 15 hours of work because I wanna share how joyful that night was. And, I want to tell the whole world Alex is a super great and honest guy, people, please be nice to him! My soul is leaving my body soon. Good night!!
When people watched this clip, they tended to be impressed by Linda's accent. How shallow!!! I like the part she was saying about the role models in the community. It is kind of true, at least to me, a role model or a hero not necessarily someone earns millions a day nor saves thousands of lives. He should be someone with adorable human qualities such as love, honesty, loyalty, experienced in life, senses of respecting each others, strong determination towards goals and resistance to temptation. I am working hard especially in my work place because I want respect from the hearts of my colleagues instead of the color of my uniform
There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window
There were days when the sun was so cruel That all the tears turned to dust And I just knew my eyes were Drying up forever
I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how And I banished every memory you and I had ever made
But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that It's so hard to believe but It's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)
There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow
Baby Baby
If I kiss you like this
And if you whisper like that
It was lost long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this
And if you need me like that
It was dead long ago
But it's all coming back to me It's so hard to resist And it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
But it's all coming back
There were those empty threats and hollow lies And whenever you tried to hurt me I just hurt you even worse And so much deeper
There were hours that just went on for days
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances
That were lost to us forever
But you were history with the slamming of the door And I made myself so strong again somehow And I never wasted any of my time on you since then
But if I touch you like this
And if you kiss me like that
It was so long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this
And if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)
There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things we'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow
Baby, Baby, Baby
When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
If you forgive me all this
If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget
And it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
We see just what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now
(It's all coming back to me now)
And when you kiss me like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And when I touch you like that
(It's all coming back to me now)
If you do it like this
(It's all coming back to me now)
And if we, , ,
除了甜品，我更愛看比賽性的美食節目。大部份情況，參賽者都要在很短的時間裡面收到材料菜單，也許只有1-2分鐘的時間去想怎樣去煮，20分鐘裡面要造出一到具色香味的菜。昨天看了"Top Chef Masters"的決賽，好看的不但是兩者以各自具自我風格的卓越烹調技巧對壘著或是評審們對每道菜評價時造出的緊張氣氛，而是他們比賽時先跟對方握手示好，表明友誼第一的立場。主持人也先說一句, "We want a clean match"，使整場比賽令人看得舒服。最觸動我寫這篇文章是一個日籍的廚師除了狀況，對手的美籍廚師不單沒有袖手旁觀，更大方借出餘下的材料，好讓日籍廚師得以順利完成菜式。雖然我沒有親口吃到美籍廚師的菜，不過我覺得後來的勝利是實至名歸，他有了大廚師的風範，對自己和對手的要求都高。希望拿冠軍，也不怕得失，更使對方輸得心服口服。讚！！
Doing cardio and watching tv are becoming part of my daily life. Am I strange? In the way that I love watching on gourmet shows while I am sweating on the elliptical machine? Well, I guess I am into Asian stuff that's why the Food Network shows don't make me feel hungry. Haven't said that I am excluded from the western diet. I love desserts. especially cakes, because I don't bake!!
Apart from desserts related shows, I enjoy a lot watching the competitive shows, such as Cup Cake Wars, Top Chef Masters. All the participants have to prepare, cook and present the dishes within a very limited time frame. Like last night's the "Top Chef Masters," I was not just impressed by the unique cooking style and outstanding skills of any individual chef as well as the thrilling moments when the judges were making comments, nit also their hand gestures before the match which showed friendship went first. Since the host said, "We want a clean match" at the beginning, I felt relaxed and comfortable in watching the whole show. The scene really moved me to write this page was that a Japanese chef encountered a situation in a match against an American chef. Instead of leaving the Japanese chef alone, the American chef lent his leftover ingredients to the Japanese chef so that the competition went on in the fairest way. I personally believe the American chef deserves to be the winner. He seemed having high expectation to himself and his competitors. Of course, he wanted to win but not worry to lose the competition. He is such a great Chef!!
I didn't start a very good day because only slept for 3 hours last
night. I was supposed to meet a friend at 1 pm not far from my home.
But I was too tired and asked my friend to meet him another time. He
said he would not meet me again if I was not showing up! OMG!! I was
threatened!! So, I prepared myself to go out in 20 minutes and rushed.
I managed to be there on time!
After meeting, I walked back home
under wind and low temperature. The walk was like 15-20 minutes. I
didn't feel miserable under such weather as I wished to do extra
workout. Am I too crazy? I have been doing cardio almost everyday
since the end of last month. Somedays, I alternated gym cardio with
hiking or swimming. I somewhat think swimming is boring because I
couldn't listen to music. However, I think it is a much better than gym
as my whole body exercises together. In addition, water pressure eases
tired muscles. Since I will have a reserve duty tomorrow until late
night, I shall consider to go swimming when the pool will be empty that
time of the night.
In reviewing my gym progress, I have to say I
am more motivated as all the data shown on the meters seems that I am
capable to do heavier exercise day by day. By looking at the 4th day of
workout, I definitely did more within the same time frame.
Also, I adjusted the levels of difficulty higher yesterday and today. I guess I am doing fine and at the right track. My next step should be the weight, as recommended by many fitnessholic (including that Bitch Universe, hey you!!! you know I am talking about you !!! lol).
Time flies, 16th of the month already. It is again time to wait for my company's publishing my November schedule. Shouldn't be too exciting since I shall only need to go to work once.
Ciao!! Time to make up some sleep from last night. Good night!!!
The chilling autumn breeze moves the empty frame gently
Was thinking what would be gonna in the picture Suddenly, a passer by pushed me The imaginary picture was spoiled Some voices were coming from the painting Seems like some kind of miserable complaints Or some accuses from helpless hearts
I just didn't want to continue to visualize I have the absolute control to paint I don't care people's interruption nor intentional destruction I am the in charge I am confident to fix the painting with my heart, wisdom, patience and hands I can turn the impossibles to even more lovely possibles
The painting frame in the Old Port You are never alone You always position up of the shop witnessing different life wisdom Please guide us to finish the painting Please also get rid of the anger in the painting
Haven't even drafted a poem for long time. Suddenly, a few sentences flashed across my mind when I was working out today. Perhaps, my subconscious moves me to do something new? I don't know the rules of writing poems and creating rhyme. I just linked up all related feelings in paragraphs on the same page. To all poets, please do excuse, I tried by best.
Not talking much about my Singapore trip because I worried I would create discomfort to Alex. But, I knew that I would post the pictures on facebook anyway after the trip. Therefore, I messaged Alex and told him about the trip. He was funny in the way he asked me to grab RC and smash his "part"!! Whatever!! I didn't do this of course. And, it is rather a quite surprising trip.
The trip was not smooth initially when I realized the local SIM card was deactivated. Then, I decided to buy a new one on the way to enjoy durian pastries at Goodwood Park Hotel. What the f**k!! The hotel told me they didn't have the pastries! The pastries were supposed a highlight of this trip which I had traveled like 9400 miles to crave for it! After that, I was taking a bus to Chinatown for something else because I was hungry. I chose to have fried and steamed dumplings in my favorite restaurant. Finishing all the food in 15 minutes and my dissatisfactory level lowered a lot. After the late lunch, I shopped island wide for food and cooking sauces. Didn't really hang around long and headed back to hotel before sunset. Got a message from a friend that he could not show up for dinner!! Another disappointment! No choice but going to Katong alone for the famous Laksa. I finished the dinner quickly since I wanted to be back to hotel early for the next morning flight. On the way, I got Durian Salat, a dessert with fresh durian on top of glutinous rice, which allows me to throw away Goodwood Park Hotel from my mind totally!!
It is always tiring and annoying to take morning flights. There was no exception when I was heading back. The moment, I was requested to change seat because a couple wanted to sit together. They were nice and polite. Also, I was using staff ticket. I was helping them with some questions marks on my head. The flight was open and why they were assigned seats in the extreme corners in the plane? I suspected they were having affairs in Singapore. Anyway, I moved to the new seat with long face and suddenly a man voice said, "hi" to me. Perhaps, I was not in a good mood. My intonation was not too nice and replied, "hi." From that second, I regretted!! He is just so gorgeous!!! He has brown eyes and blonde hair. We didn't say a word after I had settled down. Until the plane was taxiing into the runway, I broke the silence. I initiated him conversations; I assisted him to use the entertainment system; I explained him the transiting procedures in HK; I told him to secure his valuables because of the recent thefts south east Asian flights. The three and a half hours flight was gone quickly. I rarely had some conversations with the guy next to me. Just remember there was once when I was flying from Nagoya, the Japanese guy next to me asked me to swap passport with him for viewing. And, he told me he went to Bangkok very often. My expected is gone, but the best is ahead!!
A little conclusion: not having what I wanted but having something surprising.
My colleagues talked about my ex few days ago. He admitted he is a bi. Why he changed all of a sudden after his wife has given birth? This son of bitch (please excuse my language) never considered how I felt when cuddling me and telling me he had no interest in men. I really wanna see how the Lord would punish him. I was talking to someone that I should kick his ass. But, I don't want karma, I don't want to repeat mistakes. Some mistakes can't occur more than once!!
昨日看到了一個朋友的臉書宣佈著"In a relationship"，恭喜他的同時才發現他走上了我的舊路，人家都有了老婆，去當了人家的小三。我走錯過，做“負責任”的小三要背著不是常人可以承擔的壓力。簡直是勞心勞力的盲目付出，也不會得到任何人的祝福：既不能跟旁邊的人多講，又要為對方的家眷設想，如果人家老婆有了孩子，又會為他們擔心，可是自己又是甚麼？又憑甚麼和用甚麼資格去關心人？人家是個大贏家，有了家又有外頭的愛情，就是說"He has the best from the both worlds." 最後，人家都會選擇回家，我擔當的“具歷史性的過度期玩具”角色也會在他心裡消失。當小三，何苦？
I congratulated a friend's status changed to "In a relationship" in facebook. Well, he was actually following my footsteps. He is having an affair with a married man. I made the same mistake before. Being a "responsible" third person has to bear the pressure and blames that not any normal person are assumed to take on shoulders. This experience is totally one way contribution but not blessed by anyone: Not feeling like to talk to the others on this; giving all the priorities to his family; worrying their lives when the wife is pregnant; but who am I? What position should I stand to care them? He won both the warmth of staying with family and the thrill of having an affair. That's what "He has the best from the both worlds" means. At the end, he would choose to return to family, My historical role of "a toy for transitional period" would varnish from his heart. Becoming a third person, what for?
My friend told me he was confused and wanted to discuss with me. Of course, I believe this is something never work and would cause damages which goes beyond estimations. Since he is so into the situation, I don't think he would listen to any cons of being a third person. Perhaps, he was trying to get my support which allows him to continue the romance. I don't know if I am a good or a bad friend. I didn't say no straight the way. I only told him to be fair to himself but not at the others' expenses. Asking him that there is karma for the third persons. Let him to think it through if it is worth to insist.
This is a very special Thanksgiving period for me. The local Canadian usually shows their appreciation to the god since the people are blessed to have a good harvest. Also, the people has ended the growing cycle and will get ready for the severe and long winter. Therefore, Thanksgiving carries an important legacy for the continent where all its people are returning home to enjoy a great dinner with their love ones.
I am gonna miss the turkey this year. But, I have to say a big thank to all those who have been at my side throughout the years. They are:
Dear Miss XXX, you went through the sour, bitterness and sweet of life this year. Although I didn't do anything for you, I was always standing by not far from you. I was trying to listen all your challenges and sadness. I personally grew up a lot because of your life stories. I understand more life is definitely full of uncertainties. While we are cherishing the people around us, we ought to be caring to everyone too. I believe you will be having a great family life ahead!!
Dear Mr XXX from Taiwan, I have been enlightened a lot since you brought me to the Longshan Temple this year. I learned to let things go and calm my inner soul. When I had met with those less fortunate people, I encouraged them with this kind of thinking. I asked for intellegence, patience and brave in the temple and I really got them. My heart now relaxes and fills less anger. We are still missing and encouraging each other everyday. I wish to meet you again and the temple as soon as possible!!
For those aggressive ones, you widened my eyesight. All the dirty tricks and rumors, played by you, challenged my limit and skills of handling. You made everyone knows the authority and power can never override the truth! Come!! Keep tickling me!! Your stupidity has brought me laughs and has sublimated me to a higher level!!
I have to thank a group of lovely angels who offer me assistance and advices. There have been chances to do my subordinates' tasks recently. I have got new interpretation towards their work. More importantly, I understand more of their difficulties and I will have a fairer expectation on them. I promise I will continue to listen and learn from you. Do not stay in the hands of the aggressive ones!!
The last but not the least, to my Dear "elder brother" who is facing lots of difficulties, haven't met you nor known you for long. According to our conversations and your matters, I thought a lot afterwards. For example, the way to put myself into others' shoes, how to analyze and handle problems, to have better knowledge on illness.. Etc. Also, I discovered I had wasted much time in the past years in the way didn't take care of my health and deploy my talents gifted by the Lord. I was contented with just going to and returning from work. Thought that doing my job was good enough to contribute to the world. In fact, the World can be different with more of my effort. Thank you!! You woke me up!! From a dude without any dreams, who only helped others to finish their dreams, to someone who has set and achieve new goals. You've said already you are sick of any questions like, "how are you? are you ok?" Please don't misread my writing here. I am not here to teach, encourage and make you feel better. Instead, I wanna let you know your short term problems inspire me to move forward. Your life is on your hands. I will always support you.
After a few discussions regarding responsibility, silence and obligations.. etc. Let me write something that won't require me to use too much of my brain. Well, at least, I don't have to do much editing before publishing.
A simple day this afternoon when I got no plans of what to do. Eventually, I remembered I was craving for Tewchew style marinated cuttle fish and burger last night. I will save the burger for next week because I will be visiting Montreal next thursday as well as I am following a strict diet control these days. Visiting Montreal would be a trip which I will only have western cuisine, especially the fattening poutine (fries topped with gravy and cheese) and the famous Montreal French dip sandwiches with roasted beef and gravy. Yumm!!! Can't wait to re visit my old school and pick up some memories during the fall season.
Coming back to what I did today!! I went to Chinatown for the cuttle fish. I know it is full of cholesterol but since I am having oatmeal everyday to replace normal dinners these days. Guess I am allowed to have it. Don't worry, I won't "over dose"!! Then, I suddenly craved for apples, a seasonal fruit in Canada now. Never a big fan of apples but I was motivated to buy apples few days ago when I was visiting a pumpkin farm. I didn't buy as I left the cash in the car!! Anyway, I got apples from supermarket today. I bought "sweetango" and "gala" apples, 2 each. The former was very sweet and juicy. According to the description, "sweetango" is ideal for baking, eating and boiling. I am not sure about the taste of the "gala". Will update you guys later.
So, I was doing a challenge that I learned from a Miss Hong Kong show this summer: Eating an apple in a Royal family way. Not that bad.. haha eating an apple with a knife and a fork is not something too difficult. I believe the texture of the apple is the single most important factor. Shall the supermarket put one more description next the apples, "ideal for meeting the Queen?"
Took a break tonight from the gym. Instead, put on my swimming attire and visited the pool. My cardio was working well the past 8 days in the way I managed to swim for almost nonstop (except a few seconds when I had to wash my goggles to remove the fog) in 40 minutes!! I felt my lung is getting stronger as breathing was going well. My arms are tired now but seems like the muscles are a bit tightened!! Yes!!! Go!! Oscar!! Go!!
We need to communicate with each other because we can't read the other's mind. However, what if the other side has decided not to disclose parts or most of his capacity to the partner? I personally think there is no absolutely right or wrong on this matter since everyone has his/her motivation behind. Some people just simply tell the other half every little tiny detail thing such as the time and among of poo everyday (excuse for being disgusting! lol). But some people don't think it is necessary to communicate much as they may have different objectives in a relationship. I interpret communication is one of the ways to establish and achieve goals within a relationship.
Most of the time, people are perhaps situated in different stages of the same relationship. One may reach faster because he has a bigger leap and a further vision to life. The other may reach slower because he may just focus on the things ahead. If the gap is getting bigger while the commitment is not strong enough, perhaps, "responsibility" is not too applicable. Sadly speaking too, when commitment is no longer valid, perhaps, there is no such thing we call it responsibility. I would say at moment, responsibility is more likely coming from courtesy and respect.
Here also comes to distinguish "responsibility" and "obligation". To my understanding, obligations are musts while responsibilities are "supposed to's". For me, I would not just be responsible, but obligated myself to a relationship if I have found a right match. At the same time, I expect the same from the other. But of course, I will need a con-sense from the other party as well as it is meaningless to be engaged blindly. I won't force or blame the other half as we are formulated with different values and backgrounds. If he doesn't agree, there is no point to continue. Maintaining balance of contribution in a relationship between the two is not something we cannot refer from the books and manuals. Obviously, we cannot just contribute but we shall also expect a fair return, more like on the spiritual side, from the other half. The interactions and sparks are all important elements to make a relationship to renew and grow. In that stage, obligation may replace responsibility.
I am not a buddhist. But I do agree every matter is composed from causes, and consequences would always follow. We may not see and identify the consequences linking to the causes immediately. There is always a karma. Those people who choose to run away from all the immediate problems. Don't worry, they are relieved in a short while. Bigger sufferings can happen on them in the later course of the life. Life is short but not too short. If the suffering is severe, even the life lasts only for a few minutes, it would be miserable enough.
My annual leave is almost done soon. To conclude it, I think I am constructive so far because I managed to have a better diet plus regular exercises in the past 10 days. To develop my intellectual quality, I composed around 10 writings and posted on this blog. I believe I could still continue this after returning to work this saturday. Guess what, I start to think if I should join a local gym in HK as I am too shy to work out in my company's gym. Any suggestions? I am going to be in HK around 6 days a month on average. Let me know the best deals in town please!! Haha
Multi tasking is always my problem in the sense that I don't have to rush to get all things done such as skin care, hair care and dinner at the same time. Come on!! I am not yet at work!! Still 3 more days to go. Why should I need to align myself to work mode? Well, I guess from some hidden parts of my brain, I always worry I would forget some of my ideas of writing. Very irritating, all those ideas are just coming up whenever I am occupied with something (e.g. workout, at work) when I can't have an access to computer!! WTF..
Was reading an interesting article, from Alexander, which raised this question, "Do you have the right to remain silent?" This can be a good topic for a thesis for any philosophy courses across the planet. To make it easier, let's apply this question on a relationship.
To me, I would say yes. But depends on various factors. For instance, maturity of a relationship, expectations from both sides of a relationship, communications methods of both parties and respect between the two.
Maturity of a relationship. Initially, both sides would have lots of sharing because both are curious and thrilled to get to know a new guys. When staying longer, there would be some kind of non black and white nor verbal agreements which reduce the conversations. Maybe this is a possibility that both sides are getting tired and bored. That's where silence starts.
Depending on individual, unfortunately, many people choose to run away from "concluding" a relationship perhaps they are too irresponsible, not capable to speak out, or not brave enough. The worst I could think of is whether those people ever engaged and contributed (These can be tangible or intangible) to the relationship. In other words, do they take relationship seriously. I have learned not to expect the other party would do what I am expecting him to as discrepancy exists all the time between the two brains.
While we are responsible human beings who love to establish communications with the lover, the other party may perceive one way communications work better for him. Particularly, those self-centered ones who always plays with the word "privacy".
Many of my past romances ended with mysteries. At the beginning, I had strong strives to look for that person and seek for explanations in order to send me to executions. The processes were horrible because I knew that the results were gonna be cruel. Later, I have learned why I should prolong the length of those days before "executions." Instead of all those sufferings, I am getting used to all these sudden disappearance. As time goes by, seems playing "hide and seek" is a common norm in the community. I have to emphasize I will also inform the other party to finish once I have realized things are not getting right because I understand and accomplish "respect".
There is never a fair deal between the two in a relationship.
Sorry, Alexander, I definitely don't mean to say something offensive to you under this unusual period. Just that I want to express some of my thoughts basing on my past failures. There are numerous guys turned themselves on silent mode towards me since my first love. I have never blamed them. The wounds cure themselves quicker and quicker as that how the real world works. I feel sad because the value of love is getting fragile. At the same time, I am proud of insisting my outdated values of respecting even I am suffering from different levels of silence all these years. I always keep in mind that there is no standard procedures nor legal requirement in any forms of relationship.
Can I see what human beings think by conducting an autopsy of their brains? If yes, I regret I didn't choose this major so that I can see all the nuts' thinking!! We were promised the matter was settled. But, someone informed me today that a person involved was making the thing went complicated. Well, just couldn't confirm if the other person was spreading rumors to defend herself. I am warning the trouble makers, I won't take any action by reporting all your messes to the management. If someday, I discover my interest and reputation was damaged or my other colleagues got involved and hurt, don't blame. You ask for yourself. You'll have this coming!!!
A housewife suggested last week to view autumn leaves today. It was such a cool idea as I have never viewed autumn leaves in Toronto in the past 6 years. Although the forecast few days ago was not showing good weather for today, it was a surprisingly beautiful morning with calm weather, pleasant temperature and clear sky! Marvelous!! The two hours of shooting were filled with laugh. The most unforgettable shot was laying on the grass covered with fallen colorful leaves. My first ever!! Also, a mother to be was so enthusiastic that she was jumping on the picnic tables and taking pictures for us!!!
好久沒有坐過超長途機，對上次應該是今年三月了。這次是個10天的假期，先去日本然後再去新西蘭。不久之前的我，對這些旅行一定會興奮不已，出發前必定計劃周詳。不知怎樣，這次好像有點力不從心，連收拾行李也是在最後關頭才動工。加上不知是否對工作太用功，還是年紀又大了，坐在椅子15多個小時好像將要取我命似的。明明是要渡假，心情好像快要上班似的。前面是美好的風景和旅遊聖地，但我還是要努力地花時間去探索，畢竟好的東西是不會自動送到面前，而是要自己爭取的。
